


If He Were There

by Fraink5



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen, His friends need him too, Hurt/Comfort, Kurapika needs his friends, TLC, talking it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24343168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fraink5/pseuds/Fraink5
Summary: When Kurapika finally answers the phone, he discovers something horrible has happened and Gon is near death. As he tries to patch up his crumbling friend group, he regrets not having been there.(AKA the fic where Kurapika also shows up when Gon is in the hospital.)
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Kurapika, Gon Freecs & Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika & Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika & Senritsu | Melody (Hunter X Hunter)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 80





	If He Were There

**Author's Note:**

> Watching the Election Arc, it bothered me a lot that Kurapika did not show up to see Gon, who was dying. I'm sure he has his reasons, but I believe he needs his friends more than anything else, so I wrote this fic as a what-if.
> 
> Huge shout-out to @Leio13 for editing this!

“Where’s Gon?”

Everything in the hospital was sterilized to the point where not even infectious hope could spread. The only sign of life was the mechanical beeps of monitors; when those stopped, it meant death. White was the color of mourning.

In the desolate hall, Kurapika’s voice bounced to the only other person who would hear it: a tall man in a dark suit. His shadowy slouch was an image right out of a funeral.

“Kurapika…” Leorio’s voice trailed off without certainty. He pointed dejectedly into the room across the hall.

Although Kurapika came to Swardani City resolved to see Gon, his hand quaked so violently that he couldn’t open the door. Kurapika had seen so much cruelty and carnage—why did he freeze now?

“How is Gon?”

“Words can’t describe it. He’s barely hanging in there; it would take a miracle to save him.” The words seemed to sting as they left Leorio’s lips.

There was no point in searching for a silver lining in Leorio’s words. All Kurapika could do was see Gon himself.

Kurapika turned the door knob.

The room had a deathly aura as though the body was already a cadaver. The soiled white sheets draped over the bed did little to improve the image. Yet the body underneath was altogether worse than a corpse. It was deformed beyond recognition.  _ This was Gon? _

A wave of nausea was engulfed by a scarlet sea of fathomless frustration.

“Kurapika.” Leorio’s voice was a too-little-too-late caution before Kurapika’s rationationality was lost under the roar of desperation. 

_ Holy Chain _ .

Leorio was shouting something.

**_Holy Chain._ **

The light of his nen was swallowed into the blackhole of Gon’s condition.

Why was Kurapika powerless to help his friends? This time and the time before. He didn’t want to lose anyone else—that’s what he decided. Then why was he unable to protect them?

The melody of a flute wormed its way through the madness into Kurapika’s brain. Then Leorio’s voice again. “Kurapika, Killua is coming with a way to save Gon.”

_ Killua is? _

“Thank goodness…” The scarlet world flickered to white then to black.

* * *

A white ceiling stared back at Kurapika. If he turned anywhere else, his head spun. How much time was he out? How much time did he use Emperor Time?  _ How was Gon? _

Kurapika jolted up, then quickly slumped back into the bed.

The flute stopped. “Kurapika? You’re feeling better already?”

“How is Gon?”

"Gon-kun should be fine now. It seems like Killua-kun's solution worked."

"I'm so glad…" Kurapika's fever momentarily vanished. But in the silence, regrets once again fogged his mind. 

“You’re frustrated again?” Senritsu’s eyes were brimming with pity. “Your heartbeat was in pain throughout your fever. I thought the news of Gon-kun’s recovery would help you feel better, but…”

“I am beyond relieved, but.” It was impossible to conceal his worries in front of Senritsu. "I thought that I could protect my friends by leaving them. I already put them in danger by involving them with my business once, so I left, hoping to keep them out of harm's way…"

"Kurapika, that wasn't your fault then. Gon-kun and Killua-kun were there because they wanted to help you."

That was a blatant lie. Kurapika shouldn't have let them get involved. "But it was another mistake. It was naive to think that they would be safe just because I wasn't there. Instead, I wasn't there when they most needed help—I didn't even know about it!"

"Kurapika." Senritsu put her flute on her lap with a bit of force. "There are limits to what we all can do. People we can't stop; people we can't save… Gon-kun and Killua-kun are still children, but they're also growing up. They're responsible for themselves. You can't always protect them."

"...Senritsu. I'm sorry." Kurapika sighed. "You stopped me then and have been watching over me, haven't you? I'm grateful."

"I'm just glad that you're better now." Kurapika sensed that those words weren't the whole truth, but Senritsu wouldn't let him look further into them. "Instead of dwelling on what couldn't be done, there's something you  _ can _ do for Gon-kun."

Kurapika sat up again. "There is? What is it?"

"Gon-kun woke up not long ago, and he probably wants to see one of his closest friends."

"What happened to Killua and Leorio? Are they not there?"

"Leorio-san got involved in the election, so he's stuck at headquarters until the voting is over. He could win, you know.”

“ _ Leorio? _ ” Kurapika laughed in disbelief. What would Leorio do as chairman of the Hunter Association?

“And Killua-kun…” Senritsu hesitated with a frown. “He didn’t want Gon-kun to find out he was the one who healed him. It seems like something happened between them.”

What happened? Kurapika would have to see Killua—but first Gon.

Kurapika exhaled. “I understand. Then I will visit Gon now.”

Senritsu stared up and down at Kurapika. “Are you sure you are up to it?”

Following Senritsu’s gaze in the mirror, Kurapika assessed his physical condition. His skin, save for the bags under his eyes, was almost as pale as the white gown he was wearing.

“I have to get out of this outfit.”

Senritsu sighed. “Yes.”

“Can you give me a minute?”

She nodded, but she didn’t move. She kept staring as though waiting for something.

Finally, she spoke, “You don’t have to do everything alone.” Without waiting for a response, she approached his bed and offered him her shoulder.

She was right. In his current state, Kurapika couldn’t even stand up by himself. Holding onto Senritsu, he slowly lifted himself from his bed. “Thank you. I can do the rest myself.”

Surely, Senritsu could hear the uncertainty in his voice, but she resigned to his stubbornness. “Don’t push yourself too hard. I’ll be outside when you’re done, or in case anything happens.” With that caution, she schlepped out of the room.

* * *

Kurapika grabbed the door handle. Whatever was on the other side of the door, it had to be better than Gon from the previous day (How many days ago was that?)

Kurapika had barely opened the door when a voice rang through. “Kurapika!!”

“Gon!” Kurapika beamed and hastily stumbled to Gon’s bedside. “You probably shouldn’t get up yet, right?”

“Probably not.” Gon tilted his head. “But I feel fine though!” He grinned and wrapped his arms around Kurapika’s waist.

_ He really is going to be fine. _ Warm tears pooled in corners of Kurapika’s eyes as he gently placed his hand on Gon’s head. “I’m so glad to hear that.”

Gon stared up at Kurapika’s face. “Was it that bad, Kurapika?”

“It was dreadful. Even Leorio couldn’t give a proper description.”

“Really? Then what happened? I feel fine right now.”

“If you feel fine now, it must have been some kind of ‘miracle.’”

“Wow, if Kurapika uses the word ‘miracle,’ then it really must have been.”

“Sorry. I really wasn’t there, so I don’t know the details.”

“Did something happen, Kurapika?”

“No. Nothing really.” Kurapika didn’t put any effort into his lie, only hope that Gon wouldn’t press the issue.

Gon frowned. “Okay.” Then he shrunk away slightly. “I always thought Kurapika was strong, and even stronger for putting your life on the line. How do you fight like that?”

“Gon. You shouldn’t—”

“At that time, I was prepared to sacrifice everything to avenge Kite. But I just became a burden for Killua and everyone else, didn’t I?”

“Gon…”

Kurapika’s mind turned over and over without the slightest idea of how he should respond. What Gon described was how he had been fighting all along; it was the fastest way for him to bridge the gap between him and his enemies and the fastest way to accomplish his goal. He never gave much thought to what came after—he would die.

Yet, it sounded so repulsive when Gon spoke about it. How could Gon throw away everything for one goal? He should still have a long future ahead of him.

Gon was always so optimistic all the time that Kurapika never thought Gon would be capable of such a thing—no, he must have known. He knew the length’s Gon would go to achieve what he wants. Even knowing that, Kurapika acted that way. He was disgraced by the example he had set. How could Kurapika criticize Gon now?

“Nevermind, it doesn’t matter.” Gon interrupted Kurapika’s thoughts with a forced smile. “I was just surprised at the recovery I made.”

Kurapika inhaled. “Gon.” It didn’t matter if it was hypocritical. “Don’t do anything like that again. Please.”

“Kurapika.” Gon shifted a bit. “Shouldn’t you sit down?”

“Huh?” Only then did Kurapika realize he was violently swaying. “I suppose I should. Let me get a chair.” He grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and dragged it to Gon’s bedside. Just that action seemed to drain the energy from him, so he flopped into it with heavy breaths. “Sorry about that.”

Gon just smiled. It seemed he wasn’t going to comment on Kurapika’s poor health, which was a relief.

“About our discussion earlier,” Kurapika took Gon’s silence as an opportunity to stir the conversation back to where it was. “Gon, please don’t do anything like that again.”

“Okay.”

Kurapika was stunned. He wasn’t prepared for Gon’s ready agreement, even if it made things easier for him.

“Killua must be really mad.”

“Killua? Why?”

“Because he’s not here. If Killua isn’t here, he must be angry.” Gon retreated to the center of his bed. “I said some hurtful things, and then I…”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me about it. Just make sure to properly apologize to him when you see him.”

“How’re you feeling?” A  _ yanki _ -looking man entered the room. The scowl on his face contradicted his words of concern.

“I’m feeling a little more awake now!”

“Good.” A stream of tears began to work its way down the man’s loosened face.

Gon and Kurapika shot each other a glance:  _ why is he crying? _

“Oh, Knuckle, this is my friend, Kurapika!”

The man, Knuckle apparently, examined Kurapika with his previous grimace (although the tears continued to flow), but he didn’t say anything other than “Kurapika, huh? Nice meeting you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Knuckle seemed to be familiar with Kurapika’s name, but Kurapika couldn’t say the same. He would have to ask Gon about him.

“If you’re ready, there is someone who you should go see.”

Who could it be?

“Yeah, I’m ready then.”

“Then, I’ll leave it to you two to get ready.” With that, Knuckle turned to leave. “Also, I was  _ not _ crying, so don’t tell anyone that I was.”

Kurapika was certain that Knuckle wiped his face with his sleeve before slipping out the door.

“Gon, are you okay to go?”

“Yeah!”

“Don’t overdo it.”

“You too, Kurapika. You should take care of your body too.”

Gon was right. Kurapika was not in the position to worry about Gon. How embarrassing.

“Then, I’ll head back to my room. I’ll see you soon, Gon.”

The last time they parted, Kurapika hadn’t even said goodbye. With the regret of what happened since, he waved sadly. This time, it would be different, he swore silently to himself and to Gon and the others.

“Bye bye, Kurapika!”

* * *

An aggressive knock on Kurapika's hotel room door yanked him from his drifting between consciousness and not. "KURAPIKA!"

Leorio. There was no point in Kurapika faking his appearance.

He rolled out of bed and trudged to the door. "What's wrong, Leorio?"

"You were awake?"

"Sort of."

"Good. Can we talk for a bit?" Leorio's gaze moved left, right, and finally into Kurapika's hotel room.

Kurapika opened the door further to welcome Leorio. As he shut the door behind him with one hand, he used the other to gesture to a nearby chair. "What is it?"

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!"

Leorio's booming voice nearly knocked Kurapika over, so he grabbed the chair to steady himself.

"Not that I don't understand how you feel…" Leorio continued.

"What are we talking about?"

"Gon."

Kurapika's lips closed with a silent 'oh.'

"You know, when I first saw Gon like that, I was frustrated beyond belief. How could I let that happen? While I was studying and drinking and all that, Gon and Killua were putting their lives on the line for something important.

"And when I was finally able to join them, I was still powerless to help them. Even after becoming a Hunter and studying medicine, I can't even save a friend who's really important to me!"

"Leorio, don't blame yourself; you're still a student." Kurapika reached out his hand towards Leorio's shoulder, but it was ignored.

"You know what they said? Not even the most practiced doctors could save him. Then what's the point? What's the point of becoming a doctor if you can't save the one person you want?!

Leorio's voice faltered along with his gaze. "I couldn't stand the possibility of losing another precious friend…" Then he turned back to Kurapika. "So, that's what I thought."

"I also felt that way." Kurapika nodded sadly. "But if you understand, then why are you yelling at me?"

"Because you're a fool!! Why did you use your Scarlet Eyes?!"

As though the phrase itself triggered them, Kurapika's eyes flashed. "What should I have done?! I also don't want to lose Gon or anyone else important to me! In order to prevent that, I'll do anything in my power to save them! Would you not do the same?!"

"But you used your power when you  _ knew _ it wouldn't work! That's just throwing your life away meaninglessly! How would Gon—or anyone else, for that matter—feel if he woke up to find out you almost or actually died in order to save him?!"

Kurapika's anger crumbled under the weight of Leorio's words. He couldn't even raise his head to look at him: what kind of face was Leorio making?

"I'm sorry, Leorio. You're right that I knew. I knew that even if I used all my energy, I couldn't do anything. But when I saw Gon like  _ that _ , everything went red. I stopped thinking properly, and I…"

Leorio's silence trapped Kurapika with his guilt. Kurapika silently implored him to say something. But he didn't need to say anything just as he didn't need to forgive Kurapika. In fact, it was Kurapika who needed to continue.

"Leorio, at that time, you tried to stop me, didn't you? And after, you must have looked after me with Senritsu. Thank you. Even though you were already occupied with Gon, I made you worry about me. I'm extremely sorry."

Kurapika had not helped Gon at all; he had only made the situation worse. Not to mention, he made his own situation worse—how much time did he lose on Emperor Time?

Leorio had every right to be angry.

"I'm glad you understand. I'll forgive you this time."

_ Huh? _

Kurapika peeked up just in time to see Leorio grin. "Gon made such an amazing recovery; now's not the time to be angry! But, Kurapika—" Leorio's smile disappeared—"I won't forget what happened either. So you better not do something like that again! Then I'll be angry!"

How could Leorio move past his anger so quickly and even express his concern for Kurapika's wellbeing? Nevertheless, even if Leorio was ready to move on, Kurapika would not do the same. He couldn't forgive himself lest he repeats his mistakes.

"Leorio."

"I thought I said we're going to celebrate now!!"

There was a knock on the door.

It was the hotel receptionist. "Is everything alright, sirs?"

Kurapika and Leorio exchanged a glance and then smiled.

"Yes."

"Uh-huh."

"Well… Good… May I ask that you keep it at a lower volume going forward?"

"Of course, sorry."

"Thank you." With that, the receptionist left.

Kurapika turned back to Leorio who shrugged. "Oops?" He grinned impishly.

Kurapika couldn't help but return the smile. "I don't understand you at all."

"I'm the one who feels that way! How can someone so intelligent be so foolish sometimes?"

"I don't want to be called 'foolish' by you!" Kurapika imagined the receptionist seething outside the door and decided to switch tones. "But you're right. We shouldn't fight now. Did you see Gon yet?”

“Yeah! I can’t believe how much better he looks! You look worse than him now.”

Kurapika glared. “...What happened after you met? Where is he now?”

“Well, his scumbag dad was at the election.”

“He was?”

“Anyway, he promised Gon that he would talk to him, so Gon went back to go see him. I’m glad Gon finally got to see his old man, but, man, is that guy an asshole! I should have punched him again…”

“Punch him  _ again _ ?”

“Well…” Leorio looked away awkwardly. “He was on the Election Committee, and I asked him why he hadn’t visited Gon even though he was around. Can you believe that?! He asked me if ‘Gon had said he wanted him to visit.’ So I punched him right there!”

Kurapika chuckled. “Good work.”

“What? I thought you would’ve lectured me.”

“No, if I were there, I probably also would have lost my temper.”

“Ohh?” Leorio smirked.

Another glare. “Did Gon meet Killua? Do you know?”

“Killua? I don’t think so. Honestly, I haven’t seen much of him myself.” Leorio sighed. “When he arrived to heal Gon, nobody was allowed to see what happened. Since then, he has been with his sister, so I haven’t really gotten the opportunity to talk to him.”

“Sister?”

“Yep. I didn’t catch her name though.”

“Well, hopefully she is not like his older brother.”

“Who knows with that family…”

Kurapika also sighed. “In any case, I hope Gon can see him soon, although it seems that Killua is angry at him.”

“I don’t know what happened, but, given the condition Gon was in, he probably has every right to be mad.”

“I don’t know either, which is why I was hoping to speak with him. I already spoke with Gon; he seemed ready to apologize, so hopefully Killua will let him.”

“What did you say to make him willing to apologize?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t say anything like that. He was already sorry.”

“Really? He’s so stubborn, I kinda figured…”

“Well, when you end up in that position, it’d be impressive not to realize you did something wrong.”

“Is that so, Kurapika?” Leorio gave Kurapika a quizzical side-glance.

“What are you trying to say, Leorio?!” Kurapika stomped his foot before realizing that his anger was misplaced. “Sorry.”

“Nah, it was my bad. Low-blow. I said I’d forgive you, so it’s over.”

_ If you remain angry, I couldn’t blame you. Yet why are you so adamant about forgiveness? _

“Thank you, Leorio.”

“Huh?!” Leorio nearly jumped.

“For looking out for and taking care of me, despite my thoughtless behavior. I don’t know where I would be without you. So thank you.”

* * *

Outside the hospital entrance, a kid was pacing; whenever he arrived at the door, he growled and turned around. But soon enough he would straighten his back and change direction again. One hand was in his pocket the whole time, the other flicked a yo-yo back and forth. It moved automatically as he paid it no heed. Nor did he notice Kurapika’s approach.

“Killua? Are you here to see Gon?”

The yo-yo snapped back into Killua's palm, but he didn't look up from the pavement. "No. Not really."

"Are you angry at Gon? I understand how you feel, so..."

"What do  _ you _ understand?" Killua shot Kurapika a look for the first time—a glare.

Of course, Killua would also be upset about what Kurapika had done.

"I'm sorry."

Killua flicked his wrist and released the yo-yo again.

"It was reckless and thoughtless of me to use my scarlet eyes even knowing it wouldn't work."

"I even said that I was coming with a solution…"

So then Killua viewed Kurapika's actions as a betrayal; the message that Killua received from Kurapika's attempt to save Gon was that he didn't believe that Killua could do it.

"Sorry, I didn't know—no, that doesn't matter. That's no excuse. I still knew that I couldn't do it with my abilities, but I tried anyway, and I ended up adding to your burden when you were already worried about Gon. I apologize."

Still refusing to look at Kurapika, Killua nodded slightly.

"You don't have to forgive me."

"I won't."

"You don't have to forgive Gon either, but you should at least hear what he has to say."

Finally, Killua looked up, staring blankly. "What Gon has to say?"

"I spoke with him after he woke up. He seems to know he hurt you."

"He probably doesn't know anything. I'm always, always…" Killua choked on the words.

"Do you mind telling me what happened?"

Killua nodded once.

"Okay, why don't we go somewhere else?"

Kurapika and Killua walked through Swardani City in silence. Were it not for their close proximity, they would have appeared as complete strangers.

Finally, they arrived at a park. "I came here with Alluka yesterday," Killua muttered.

"Alluka?"

"My younger sister. We can sit on that bench over there."

Kurapika nodded. "Do you two get along?"

"Yeah. Well, I was a bad older brother, but now I'm trying to make it up to her."

It was not Kurapika's place to pry into Killua's family life. "I'm sure she appreciates any time you spend with her."

Killua shrugged. "So, Gon… He really seemed sorry?"

Kurapika nodded. "What happened?"

"Well, while looking for his old man, Gon met someone who was his friend. Gon really admired him, more than anyone else. But he died fighting a Chimera Ant. They were scarier than anyone I had ever seen, so I took Gon and ran. But Gon blamed himself for what happened. Later, he went to fight the ant alone, and this is what happened. He must have used everything he had to become strong and defeat it. I was too late to stop him…"

Then, Gon had used a vow to modify his nen which put him in that position—one that nearly killed him. No wonder Killua was also angry at Kurapika.

"I'm sorry, Killua. It's not your fault what happened."

“I should have stopped him. But, why is he always like that?! He always, always does selfish, stupid things! And I always clean up after him! Because we’re friends… right?”

“Of course, you’re friends.” Kurapika regretted not having something better to say, but he wasn’t even sure of the condition of their friendship. It seems like Gon put Killua through a lot of strain.

“If we’re friends, why can’t he depend on me? Before he left to fight the ant, he said…” Killua audibly sniffled. “‘It has nothing to do with you.’ Yeah, I know nothing about Kite, but Gon’s my best friend! I wanted to fight together… So why..?!” Tears dripped from Killua’s chin onto his hands clutching at the fabric of his pants.

“Even if Gon said that, he didn’t mean it. I’m sure Gon can keep fighting because he knows that he has a friend like you.”

“But, I’m tired of picking up after him! I’m always following his lead and cleaning up his messes. He's my friend, so I thought, I thought we could fight together! But! But…!" Killua’s words ended up scrambled into sobs.

Once again, Kurapika was confronted with his powerlessness in this situation. Just as he couldn’t heal Gon, he couldn’t resolve the issue in Killua’s friendship. The best he could do was offer reassuring words, although he wasn’t even sure what those would be in this situation. He always prefered fighting alone. In fact, he would have probably done something similar to what Gon did.

The sound of Killua’s sniffles snapped Kurapika from his self-reflection. He had to say  _ something _ . “I’m sorry that happened, Killua. Gon is really stubborn, and he doesn’t always think things through. So, I know that it must have hurt for him to have done that, but I don’t think that he meant it personally… I’m sure if you talk to him, he’ll understand.”

“No way!”

_ Failure, huh… _

“I can’t tell Gon that!” After crying out, Killua’s voice dropped to a mumble “Our friendship has always been like that… What if he doesn’t understand? Or...” His whole body quaked. “Or, what if he doesn’t need me?”

“If you don’t talk to him, you can’t know.”

“I’m… I’m afraid to know. I was just happy to be by Gon’s side. Even if I didn’t deserve it, I could be there, I could be useful somehow… Even if it hurts, it means Gon still needs me, so I thought I didn’t mind dealing with his messes, but…”

“Gon does need you. After he woke up, he was looking for you. And I bet he’s worrying about you now. Because you’re an important friend to him.”

Killua stared up at Kurapika. A final tear rolled down his face.

“Right now, he doesn’t know how to best show his appreciation, but that’s why you should talk to him. Let him know what he needs to do.”

Killua turned away. “Why am I getting advice from you, anyway?”

Kurapika flinched. Well, at least he was feeling better. He laughed under his breath. “It looks like we both need to talk to our friends, huh…”

“Idioot! Gon and I will have no problems in no time!”

It was an act, but probably a necessary one for Killua. Kurapika would also need one, until he figured things out at least.

“Glad to hear that. Then should we head back to the hospital?”

“Yeah, why should I be afraid of going there? I’ll show you—Gon and I will resolve this without resorting to this boring adult stuff!”

Killua trailed behind Kurapika the entire way, but at least he was moving. Kurapika wouldn’t follow him into the hospital. From there, it was Killua and Gon’s business alone.

* * *

Kurapika stared up at the fathomless ceiling. His alarm blared, signaling his departure, in spite of the darkness. He rolled over and pressed down on the button. Vague lights from street lamps pulsated on the shadowy curtains. Occasionally the hum of an automobile would fade in and out, then the monotonous beeping of various technology would resume. If he left at such an hour, no one would be around to stop him. 

Kurapika turned over onto his other shoulder and stared into the dark wall. The dim, red glow of the clock twinkled in the corner of his eye.

Was he going to finish collecting the eyes and then get his revenge on the Troupe now? In the empty room, there was nothing else for him, and when Kurapika had set that alarm, he had prepared to risk what little he had for those goals—

Gon had sacrificed everything he had to avenge Kite. The gory image of Gon’s disfigured body haunted Kurapika’s thoughts. Truthfully, Kurapika didn’t care if that happened to him nor if he couldn’t be saved. But the hopeless desperation from that day still lingered in his chest. The futility had turned Kurapika’s eyes scarlet. 

Yet Killua was even angrier. Gon’s careless actions had betrayed him.

Leorio and Senritsu were also upset, weren’t they? Not only with Gon, but with Kurapika too. Even if Kurapika’s actions were less costly than Gon’s, they had nevertheless found the time to worry about him.

Kurapika had left because he would put his friends in danger by being there, yet he also failed to protect them when he was away. Instead he put them through a lot of trouble again with his reckless behavior.

And he also couldn't deny his responsibility for what happened to Gon. He had set an example for Gon's actions which almost got him killed. What would it say if he continued acting that way?

Then should he stop? Give up the purpose that has been keeping him alive for the past five years?

A shadow swallowed his hotel room. Kurapika rolled over again, facing the window again. His phone rested darkly on the nightstand.

_ Leorio, Gon, Killua, Senritsu _ … He didn't even tell them he was leaving. Well, it was too early in the morning to do that now.

He picked up his phone, staring back at his gloomy reflection on the black screen.

Maybe he would call them when he had arrived at his destination. No, he couldn't do that either. Somehow he knew that if he heard their voices again, he wouldn't be able to continue.

The screen lit up his face with a buzz.

_ Leorio?! _

Kurapika's thumb hovered over the answer button, but his hand hovered over the nightstand. If he answered Leorio's call now, he would definitely fail. He sighed.

"Hello. This is Kurapika."

_ "Goood mooorning!" _ Leorio's voice chimed with a cheery tone unsuitable for morning.  _ "What are you doing up at such an early hour?" _

"I could ask you the same thing, Leorio."

_ "... Kurapika." _ Leorio's voice barely made it through the receiver.  _ "Are you leaving?" _

Kurapika's heart pounded in his ear. "Yes. I am."

_ "That's what I suspected. Well, do you want to meet up with me? It's early enough that you don't have to worry about time, right?" _

"What?"

_ "I wanted to see you before you left." _

Oh.

_ "It's too sad to leave on your own, isn't it?" _

Kurapika was already used to being lonely, so it didn't matter. In fact, seeing Leorio was the last thing he needed right now.

"What could we even do at this hour? It's too early."

_ "That's a surprise! Are you looking forward to it?" _

"Not particularly."

_ "Well, the lower your expectations are, the greater it will be! So meet me at the Hunter Association Headquarters." _

… Why couldn't Kurapika just say no?

_ "Then, I'll see you there soon!" _

"Bye, Leorio." Kurapika sighed again. "See you soon."

Finally, knowing that Leorio would be waiting for him, Kurapika stepped out of bed. When he cracked open the curtain, a slither of red light crept over the horizon. He needed to hurry up, especially if he was also going to meet Leorio. So he quickly threw on the suit he had picked out the night before and hurriedly checked out from the hotel.

When Kurapika arrived at the Association Headquarters, Leorio was leaning on the wall by the entrance. Despite the dark hour, his small-lens sunglasses sat low on his nose. His face was clean-shaven, and his suit and tie also appeared to be effortfully (if not unnecessarily) ironed and arranged. “Yo, Kurapika!”

“Good morning,” Kurapika returned the greeting. “When you called, I figured you were pulling an all-nighter, but it looks more like you actually were elected Chairman.”

Leorio’s head tilted, but then he shrugged. “Well, I couldn’t possibly do that. I still have to become a doctor. And Kurapika...” They both stared at each other—at the elephant between them—without a word. Leorio sighed, then Kurapika.

“So. What are we going to do here at such a ridiculous hour?” This was the Hunter Association, so there were probably people there, but Kurapika couldn’t imagine them doing anything that the two of them would want to be a part of.

“Let’s go up.” Leorio gestured to the entrance, nodded and headed in.

They rode the elevator in silence, without even elevator music to alleviate the still air. Leorio’s gaze shifted to Kurapika with increasing frequency, but Kurapika would not remove his stair from the floor number going up, up, up. Eventually, the elevator stopped: “Only authorized personnel beyond this point.”

There wasn’t anything to do on this floor. “Let’s head ba—”

Leorio grunted, stepped out of the car and turned in an arbitrary direction after examining the unlit floor they had stopped on. Finally, after an endless amount of wandering in confused circles, Leorio stopped in front of a window with a grin—which quickly disappeared when he saw the two cables dangling from the sky. “Wait—this is the ‘easy way up’ they laid out?!?!”

But before Kurapika could react, Leorio had already tied one of the cables around his waist and climbed out the open window. “Alright,” he groaned. “We’re climbing up.”

Kurapika just sighed. He would have to follow Leorio up the buildingside, lest Leorio fell into a trap or just fell due to carelessness. With his chains at least, Kurapika could salvage the situation if something went awry.

“I’m surprised you haven’t made any objections,” Leorio said about halfway up.

“Now that you ask, I do have some concerns. First…”

“I DIDN’T ASK! I was just surprised!”

“It didn’t seem as though you were going to wait for my opinion, right? So I had no choice but to follow. I couldn’t just let you end up hurt or dead.”

Leorio paused for the first time. His smile and soft eyes spoke without him ever parting his lips:  _ thank you. _

Kurapika smiled back, the first time he had done so all morning, despite the bizarre and dangerous situation.

Finally, Leorio had reached the roof of the building and flung himself over the guardrail before extending a hand to Kurapika.

He could make it over himself—

“Good morning, Kurapika!”

“Mornin’,”

The sudden familiar voices threw Kurapika off balance, but luckily his arm was caught by three sleeves in blue, green, and navy.

“Thank you.” Kurapika studied the people who had pulled him to the roof: Leorio of course, an energetic boy in all green (Gon), and a calmer boy with silver hair (Killua). “But what are you all doing here?”

“No reason in particular.”

“We wanted to see you!”

Kurapika shot a glare at Leorio.

“What? I didn’t tell them.” Leorio’s grin betrayed his claims.

“Even if he tried to stop us, Gon would have found a way, anyway.” Killua shrugged. “So there’s no point.”

Gon laughed in a sheepish admission.

“I suppose you’re right.” Kurapika couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

“Hey, look!” Gon pointed suddenly to the eastern sky. “Here it is!”

An orange sea of light lapped against the towers of the dark cityscape. As the crimson sun ascended, it raised the tides, filling the empty night sky with a gentle blue.

Gon grabbed Killua’s hand and ran over to the nearest guardrail. “Wow,” Killua breathed, his eyes wide with amazement.

“Was this what you had in mind?” Kurapika glanced at Leorio.

Leorio nodded, eyes still on the spectacle. “Let’s go join them.”

Kurapika approached the rail on which Gon and Killua were leaning. As the sun rose, its angry red dissipated into a bright yellow. City lights shut off little by little when the blue sky illuminated the roads, which were slowly filling with cars and people. Gon, Killua, and Leorio’s faces were also lit up, but despite the sun’s brilliance, the glow in their eyes and wide grins remained ablaze.

“Kurapika,” Gon asked, “Are you planning on leaving soon?”

Killua elbowed Gon. “Idiot, we weren’t supposed to mention that.”

“Why? It’s not like he’d suddenly forget, right?” Gon’s head tilted curiously before he turned to Kurapika, followed by Killua’s and Leorio’s gaze. 

With a small laugh, Kurapika grinned. “No, not yet.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and feedback would be appreciated!


End file.
